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The Career Song:
I started in Initiate, working for the church
But I wanted to learn Silent Move and wanted to learn Search
I stumbled on a poor box, labelled “War Relief”
I took the cash, spent some XP and switched over to Thief
I joined a band of footpads, working on the streets
I soon became an Alley Cat, and my footedness got fleet
But I wanted up my Fellowship, and learn the thieving brogue
So I conned a priest, spent XP and changed across to Rogue
As a Rogue I learnt to gamble, and owned a pair of dice
But the money was too meagre, and the company not nice
So I moved up to a Charlatan, waving good bye to the rats,
Once I’d made myself a fake degree, and purchased d10 hats.
I’m a character in Warhammer, reprobate and rake
I like to raise my stats up and I don’t care what it takes
I’m a character in Warhammer, take a look at me
If it’s got a skill I want to learn, then that’s the job for me
As a charlatan I made a mint selling hair cures to the bald
But the skill list didn’t interest me and my stat advances stalled
So when the hairless lords of Altdorf put a bounty out on me
I became at once both Bodyguard, and body-guarded-ee.
As Bodyguard I learnt Dodge Blow, a very useful skill
And my Toughness and my wounds went up, so I was much harder to kill.
I craved a life of violence so got Specialist Weapon (Fist)
Then got paid for starting bar fights as a Protagonist.
In this career I found myself often smacked upon the head
And if it wasn’t for my Fate points, I’d probably be dead
For safety I donned some chain mail which I’d managed to “acquire”
And convinced a drunk and stupid knight to take me as his Squire
As a Squire I soon was master of the flail and demi-lance
And we marched off to Bretonnia, to fight in pseudo-France
It was here I met a princess with a very shapely ass
I bedded her, then wedded her and joined the Noble class.
I’m a character in Warhammer, my fortunes rise and fall
There’s no trade that I’ve mastered, but I’m jack of almost all
I’m a character in Warhammer, my stats are getting maxed
My Weapon Skill is sixty, and I’ll soon have three attacks!
As a Nobleman, I gained some skills for a better sort of life
Took Etiquette so when dining, I could use the correct knife
But there were combat skills still out there that my XP could afford
So I tried my hand at Duellist, then went on to Noble Lord
As a Noble Lord I was given my own army by the Graf
I sent them to the Chaos Wastes, cos I thought it’d be a laugh
They all came back mutated, spread their poison to my flesh
And now I am a Flagellant, taking orders from Slaanesh!
_________________
Barbarism is the natural state of mankind.
Civilization is unnatural. It is a whim of circumstance.
And barbarism must ultimately triumph.
Naposledy upravil Corvus dňa Ut. 21. Nov 2006, 16:28, celkovo upravené 1 krát.
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